Our Grouch in Residency, the Arrogant Jerk, penned a post encouraging Hall County residents to support American football. Apparently, not many people in Hall County visit this web site. At last count, according to Google Analytics, two people did the past month.

This past Saturday, not only was someone in AJ's parking space but they were holding a religious service at the picnic table on the way down to the water. It makes it very awkward to carry your big sail -krinkle,krinkle - past someone saying, "Padre nuestro que estás en los cielos..." We might have been a bit more delicate if the same group had not hung three hammocks across just about every tree available so AJ had to gingerly guide his 9.4 (strangely, the same sail size we use) around the gathering.

Randy F. was a bit more either a) respectful, or b) annoyed and decided to decamp to Old Federal where he proceeded to a set Lake Lanier Speed Record for the date. An ugly rumour has it that Randy only posts his speeds after a few circles through the parking lot. We can't confirm or deny this and Randy was unavailable for comment when we didn't try to reach him. A spokeswoman merely said, "No, no, Mr. Falkenberg no home."

Flat water and light winds sometimes get a bad rap in the windsurfing community but we've had some of our most enjoyable sessions in the last few weeks thanks to some Formula gear. It's almost the equivalent of a powder session in snow-skiing. The upwind ability of the gear allows you to go way upwind in just a few tacks and then have an offwind joy ride in almost completely flat water. When you do get a puff, you can bend things really far off the wind. The ride is silky smooth.

We'd go further to say that if you are running a fin longer than 48cm and all you are doing is reaching back and forth, you are doing it wrong. Load up that fin and go some place. For example, if you sail Lake Lanier and you have the skills and comfort level (we aren't aiming to send newbies to the wrong county), take a trip above the Three Sisters or pinch up from Van Pugh and ride up to the LLSC or further.

Could this by our version of "I'd Like To Teach The World To Sing"?

We ran across this parabolic wifi antenna while on a search for something totally unrelated. It was a comment, perhaps on an Amazon review that said: "Search for 'DIY windsurfer parabolic WIFI antenna'".

Intrigued, we did. And we came across a web site that tells you how to make your own parabolic wifi antenna reflectors to improve your reception. I'm guessing the author is a windsurfer because one of his templates simply has the word "Windsurfer" across the front. I doubt anyone in the windsurfing industry has enough money for paid product placement.

See the website for a proper sized template and instructions. If you have dodgy wifi reception in part of your rental house at Hatteras or Florida, this will be especially fitting. Wifi signals actually can travel a long distance if aimed; they can even travel miles. Google around for "pringles can wifi antenna" if you are interested. However, the signals travel poorly from omni directional antennas found in just about every home wireless router.

Speaking of wireless, Athens, GA's own R.E.M.'s debut single: