Dear Windsurfatlanta.org Part 34

Submitted by webguy on Wed, 02/06/2013 - 11:25

Throwing a sfit
See. There are worse things than getting skunked. You could be the guy on the left handing out the trophies. "Congratulations and please don't shake my hand."

Hoisting Silverware
Nice trophy. The ones at the Fall Classic are better.

It's been a while since we've published anything from our mailbag. Quite frankly, it may well because we get very little mail in the first place. Sadly, a fair amount of our mail begins as such:

ATTENTION BENEFICIARY,
WE THE WESTERN UNION URGENT REMMITTING OFFICE HAVE SENT YOUR FULL COMPENSATION PAYMENT OF $1.5million (One Million Five Hundred Thousand United Stats Dollars) TO YOU THROUGH WESTERN UNION, NOW WE HAVE SEND THE FIRST PAYMENT TO YOU.SO CONTACT OUR DIRECTOR DR ADO STANLEY, etc."

Despite our repeated correspondence with a number of Doctors, Reverends and Widows who have difficulty with English syntax, spelling and capitalization, we are still waiting for the proceeds from the lottery, estate or family trust smuggled from the new regime. Honestly, we don't see a way towards a new George Forman grill and flat-screen TV unless one of these good people comes through for us. Until then, we are relying on a title pawn on our 1997 Equipe II and the interest fees are killing us.

The following email hypothetically came across our desk and we feel compelled to respond:

Dear Windsurf Flowery Branch or whatever,
Who makes the decision about what pictures to post on top of your articles? The reason I'm asking is that I've seen emaciated male models, cartoon insects, fortune tellers. I haven't seen a windsurfer in some time. I'm beginning to wonder if anyone around here actually windsurfs. Judging from the pics, it's more likely they are playing board games.
Signed,
[Name Withheld but he wants you to know it was sent from his iPhone]

Dear Guy who has an iPhone,
We're not sure what you mean. We are windsurfers, not people who windsurf. As such, every picture has something to do with windsurfing because it's through the lens of windsurfing which we view life. Nothing has context unless it is displayed against the background of windsurfing. Windsurfing is our mother tongue - anything we hear, see or say must be said in it.

Okay, enough with the bad metaphors, let's continue. For example, as a windsurfer, when I see this pic:

Club Nags Head Spring Trip

Submitted by webguy on Sat, 01/26/2013 - 08:39
Windsurfing in Nags Head
Nags Head, OBX

Space is available for the Spring Trip to Nags Head on the North Carolina Outer Banks. A five-bedroom beach-front house is rented from April 20-May 18th. You can reserve by the week for one or more weeks.
Already reserved are: Barrett & Peggy, Mel & Alice, Phil & Betsey, Randy, Adam & Marcel.

More details here or view his flyer directly.

maurice's picture

Monthly Caption of the Week Contest

Submitted by maurice on Fri, 01/25/2013 - 09:12

This is this month's "Caption of the Week Contest". Yes, yes, I know - monthly, weekly. Don't blame me, I only post this stuff, I don't make it up. Take that up with the management (and, good luck with that).

Based on the observations that a) it's been pretty slow around here lately and, as web monkey, I don't have much to do; and b) there are some great pictures in our Foto Gallery, the management has decided that some of the pics need captions. The captions need not be directly related to what actually was happening in the picture. No, the purpose is to think of re-interpretations, much like a revisionist historian.

Of course, no disrespect is meant to those in the picture. Think of yourselves as actors in a performance; you are only playing the part of the character. If you met Jim Carrey or Jeff Daniels, you wouldn't be expecting the characters they played from Dumb and Dumber. Sadly, however, there's little chance that you will win an Oscar, Emmy, Tony or Golden Globe for your appearance.

Here's this month's picture. Put your entry for the Monthly Caption of the Week in the comments below.

caption of the week contest 1

From here

—

Being a webmonkey isn't so bad. At least I'm not windsurfing.

Go Faster, Live Longer

Submitted by webguy on Tue, 01/15/2013 - 13:27
Seeing into the Future
Healthy? We think not. This look will get you an early grave.

Like many, the effects of colder weather on our outdoor activities along with holiday feasts (the missus puts on a mean Bhaktun spread) means our wet suit fits much more snugly than it did in October. Much more snugly. Not only does this mean dressing for windsurfing now feels more like I'm being squeezed by a python but our culture makes judgments about those who don't have six pack abs. That's strange considering America's ever expanding waist line.

But, while we may have to spend the money for a larger suit, there are some profound advantages to our expanding girth (to a point).

On the advice of my physician, I'll have butter and sour cream with my baked potato
According to new research this week in the Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA), researchers say that being overweight may lead to a longer life.
...the findings also suggest that people who are overweight (but not obese) may live longer than people with clinically normal body weight.

- CNN

We think this speaks for itself. Reaching for that doughnut may actually be good for you. Now, whether that covers the five I reached for successfully Sunday, I'm not sure. I may have overshot the target - or, overstood the mark as racers would say.

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